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Dear Rare Pairs Creator!

Sincere apologies to my gift creator that this took so long, but it's finished now!

Some of this is taken directly from previous letters because my likes/wants really don't change all that much! Apologies for any repetition.

Aside from my DNWs (which aren't exactly extensive), go ahead and pick and choose through anything/everything below. I'm pretty easy to please so if you want to read the DNWs, skip the rest and write the fic of your heart (or indeed draw the art of your heart!) in whatever fandom we matched on, that's totally fine by me.

Note: I'm completely happy with any rating ranging from the mildest G right up to the most explicit of explicit (for fic or for art). Also, length of prompts below doesn't indicate that I want one fandom more than another - I just have more words for some and more incoherent squee for others. ;)

Fanart: All my requests are for fic or art, and I should probably make it clear that I'm 100% happy with either! But I'm terrible at giving art-specific prompts (I'm trying to improve!) so really, if we match on art and nothing from the prompts below grabs you then I'm totally fine with just my requested character(s) appearing on the same page.

Kissing is good, sparring/physical activity is good, something reminiscent of a canon scene is good... also happy with something porny or dark. I love contrasting colours, bold lines, little details like jewellery or specific clothes people wore in canon, I like fingers twined together (or in hair), or anything from my list of likes below!


100% DNWs:
  • children/pregnancy (not even vague mentions of pregnancy at all, please, including mpreg and oviposition, and no children as main characters - I'm happy to read a bit about the characters themselves as kids in the past, but I'd prefer everyone involved be adults at the time the fic takes place)
  • D/s lifestyle (casual D/s without minute negotiation, or totally unnegotiated dubcon iffiness, are both A-OK!)
  • humiliation (as a kink or otherwise)
  • scat/watersports/emetophilia
  • A/B/O
  • ageplay/infantilisation
  • any mention of spiders/tarantulas or similar - other creepy-crawlies are fine

Things I'm not fond of:
  • character death, if followed only by someone else's unending woeful angst (death in general is fine, feel free to kill whichever characters you like)
  • threesomes/moresomes/poly, unless requested
  • pure fluff/curtainfic - happy is wonderful, holding hands while skipping through meadows not so much! (unless you're going for crackfic, in which case totally fine!)


Basically, as long as it's not in my DNWs, absolutely go for it - I mean that 100%. Zombie apocalypse? Really kinky porn? Gore? Random crack? Badfic on purpose? Wacky AUs? All fine, and more! But, if you want ideas about what I like:

General likes:
  • time loops
  • Pacific Rim fusions
  • snarky, sarcastic or tongue-in-cheek humour
  • banter
  • characters getting older; ageing
  • characters knowing each other really well (whether as friends or enemies)
  • futurefic/post-canon
  • competence, whether physical or intellectual (or both)
  • action scenes; gruelling training; battles; fights (fistfights and with weapons)
  • characters being forced to fight/kill (Hunger Games, Mortal Kombat, that kind of thing)
  • seemingly insignificant details that turn out to be super-important/significant
  • worldbuilding
  • ridiculous crossovers (or indeed sensible ones)

For shipfic (in addition to the above):
  • friends to lovers; enemies to lovers; enemies to friends to lovers
  • characters who know each other really well (or get to know each other really well) and show it without meaning to or really trying to
  • people not saying 'I love you' but clearly meaning/demonstrating it anyway (that's not to say I totally DNW people saying 'I love you', btw - for some characters it works!)
  • tough characters making themselves realistically vulnerable
  • differences and contrasts in age/height/etc. (especially when the smaller/younger one isn't actually small/young, only in comparison to the other character)
  • one character being physically stronger than the other (especially if the weaker one isn't weak, only weaker in comparison); manhandling
  • happy (or at least hopeful) endings
  • getting together
  • first time (first time together, or getting back together after years apart)
  • competence kink
  • loyalty kink; trust kink
  • jealousy/possessiveness/co-dependency/protectiveness
  • admiration (physical and/or intellectual)
  • me-and-you-against-the-world
  • identity porn (roleplaying; undercover; secret identities; amnesia)
  • characters wearing each other's clothes
  • fake dating or undercover turning into something more
  • everyone thinks they're dating (but they're not, except maybe then they are)
  • dating but they don't realise (or one of them doesn't but the other does, for cultural/obliviousness reasons)

Explicit/kinky fic:
  • fight sex, or sparring/arguing turning into more
  • rough sex in general, and rough sex that turns slower and/or more intense from one time to the next
  • knifeplay, gunplay, weaponplay in general
  • breathplay/choking (preferably with hands)
  • bloodplay (preferably involving knives)
  • semi-clothed sex; clothed/naked; how awkward clothing (or armour, etc.) is removed
  • sex in showers
  • one character shaving a (male) character's face (preferably with a cutthroat razor but I'll adore anything!)
  • one character writing on another's skin; marking with cuts or bruises
  • stories behind scars/bruises/tattoos (and touching/kissing them, or reopening/reinjuring them)
  • characters kinking on differences in age/height/strength
  • sexual fantasies
  • voice/accent kink; phone sex; sexual situations where one character can hear the other one but not see them (e.g. in total darkness)
  • switching - I have absolutely no strict top/bottom roles in mind (and switching mid-scene is also great)
  • for m/m, first time topping/bottoming/with a guy
  • desperation; characters knowing they shouldn't but not being able to help themselves
  • characters who think they're just having casual sex ending up unexpectedly desperately in love, whether they like it or not
  • hard, desperate kissing; fingers in hair

If you fancy writing me a crossover, whether sensible or completely cracky, I'd totally encourage you to go ahead and do it. :D In terms of fandoms: if I've requested it for an exchange (my master list of exchange letters and fandoms I've requested is here) or I've written it (my AO3 page is here, you can safely assume it's fine to write for me!

Darker fic:
I enjoy darkfic and dark art so as long as it's not in my DNWs, go for it. Torture porn, ghost stories, scary magic, religious weirdness, twisted mindfuckery, non-con, gaslighting, serious body horror, all absolutely A-OK. Feel free to use bad/offensive/dirty language if it fits the fic, as much swearing as you like, etc. I'll read just about anything, including xeno, vore, serial killer AUs, whatever tickles your fancy. Basically: excepting my DNWs, feel free to try to weird me out!

All prompts below are just ideas - absolutely feel free to go in whatever direction you like!

Request-specific info:

Avatar: Legend of Korra:

--- Requested Ship: Korra/Zaheer

Basically, this is based on that one scene where Korra goes to Zaheer and he helps her enter the spirit world.

I like that Zaheer has a cause and that it's not necessarily a bad cause, he just goes about it in a slightly odd way! I like that he's actually very spiritual and it really suits that he's one of the new airbenders (and a fantastic one at that, who's at the very least on a par with Tenzin who's been doing it his whole life). I like that he can enter the spirit world from his cell, and when he and Korra share a common cause he's absolutely willing to help.

I'd kind of like to see the two of them working together, either Zaheer being out of jail for a bit or Korra visiting him there for advice. Maybe he can teach her more about her spiritual side, or even help her learn to fly the way he does (or come close to it, since she's very much bound to the world). Then there's always the possibility of them meeting in the spirit world even though their physical bodies are far apart. I'd really just like to see how Korra deals with learning from him, and working with him, given their past and his ideals that very likely don't and won't change.

Relationship-specific: it'd be interestingly fraught with all the things that Zaheer did, including murder and trying to poison Korra and end the avatar line, but I do want dirtybadwrong Korra/Zaheer. Korra wanting it but being sort of horrified at herself and the situation, and Zaheer being either disappointed in himself because she should be dead or surprisingly zen about it all, or really manipulative. Maybe the wrongness helps Korra come to terms with everything that's happened, or maybe it actually makes her ten times worse! Creepy mentor/student relationship ftw, or maybe Zaheer kidnaps her, or or or. Also happy for them to end up in a weird mostly consensual relationship if that's where you want to take it, or all self-flagellating dub-con all the time.

Alien Series:

--- Requested Ship: Annalee Call/Ellen Ripley

Mostly, I want to know what happens next!
- Do they land on Earth? Do they stay on Earth? Do they fight aliens on Earth? Is there a sort of Alien Apocalypse, or is it averted?
- Do they leave again and fight aliens in space? Tracking down facilities, saving people along the way...
- Do they make a non-alienish life for themselves, eventually?
- What would a non-alienish life even look like, considering who and what they are?
- Maybe a weird familyish vibe with Johner and Vriess?
- How do they relate to each other? Are they worried about their respective relationships with humanity? Do they embrace their lack thereof? How inhuman is Ripley 8, anyway? In what was is Call maybe more human?
- What would the relationship be like physically (I do have a rather deep love of size difference, and comparisons in general)?
- Are they on the run? From whom? To where? Is it hard for them to hide? Do they even bother hiding?
(if you subscribe to the whole "Alien and Blade Runner are in the same universe" thing, maybe Tyrell is suddenly after then instead of Weyland-Yutani)

--- Requested Ship: David 8/Meredith Vickers

I should probably say I'm 100% fine with you playing this as either one of them (or both of them) considering themselves related to each other, or not! Also happy with Meredith being a synthetic, or not (and knowing it, or not). Antagonism is good, bonding over shared Weyland-annoyance is good, relucantly having to work together is good...

- What might their relationship have been like on Earth before the mission? What about their first meeting?
- It seems like they might have similar feelings about their "father" - bonding somehow over that?
- Canon-divergent fic where they don't leave Earth? Maybe Meredith would need an assistant.
- Canon-divergent fic where Meredith doesn't die (your choice whether anyone else does/doesn't, of course!) - would they have gone back to Earth? Gone after the Engineers' home planet? Been stuck on the planet?
- What is/isn't David capable of? I'm thinking physically, intellectually, emotionally, however you want to take that! ;)

Death Proof (2007):

Alrighty, Tarantino movies! I love them. I love Tarantino dialogue, even though it bears not an iota of resemblance to any human speech I've ever encountered. I love the characters, because there's not many of them that are particularly nice, even the ones we're meant to like. The music is fantastic. And really, I'm yet to find a Tarantino movie that I didn't love.

Death Proof in particular: it feels like such a self-indulgent thing on Tarantino's part, but I really don't care because it turned out so wonderfully! I love pretty much all the characters here, and the fake "bits of the film were lost" parts, and the over-the-top violence because it's just not Tarantino without it, and and and. I mean, it's a simple story, and it's really just two hours of car stunts and lapdancing and witty dialogue, but I always find myself all :D :D :D throughout whenever I watch.

I should probably point out here that I'm not expecting anyone to write me Tarantino dialogue here, and anything at all for either of these ships would make me stupidly happy! :D

--- Requested Ship: Stuntman Mike/Arlene

First off: I'm totally fine with something dark for these two if that's where you want to go. I'm down with Mike having stalked the girls (and getting interested in Arlene in particular though maybe at first it was Julia he was interested in). I'm down with some sort of divergence where Arlene lives and goes after him, or he tries again - totally up to you which one succeeds, if either really does. Go as weird and twisted and awful as you like, basically.

Or! I'm definitely not opposed to mid-canon around the lapdance scene! Maybe they sit and have a drink at the bar and talk after, before he causes the accident. Maybe the lapdance goes a bit further. If you're up for something porny, I'm A-OK with the idea of them sneaking out together and getting frisky on the porch outside the bar, behind it, in or on Mike's car, in the rain or not!

Things I love with these two are: that damn lapdance (and the fact she's willing to do it), his voice, the poem, the car, the whole "stuntman" thing (how long was he ever really a proper stuntman?), her hair and indeed pretty much the entirety of her body (oh man, those shorts and the flipflops, I shouldn't love that look so much!)...

--- Requested Ship: Abernathy Ross/Zoë Bell

I know, Zoë/Kim is the usual ship here, and I enjoy it, but I really like the idea of Abernathy/Zoë! And yes, I know, Zoë is a real person, but she's not really just playing herself here (I'm pretty sure she doesn't talk in Tarantinoesque dialogue!) so I'm going to be treating her as a character. :P

I like how girly Abernathy kind of is (the outfit, the hair, the thing with the copy of Vogue), and how she ends up going along when Kim and Zoë pull their stunt and turns out to be pretty tough herself. I like how tough Zoë is, the stunts, the stories, how she knows the whole thing is a bad idea but she and Kim go ahead and do it anyway.

I'd be interested in post-canon: what happens next? Do they have to stick around out there for a while until it's all sorted out or do they grab Lee and leave? Is there a tense time while they're on set? Maybe there's a whole lot of relief and that winds up with Abernathy and Zoë maybe getting drunk and getting handsy, or getting up to shenanigans involving car stunts (or just shenanigans in/on cars!), and hooking up while on location in small town America. Or I'm totally up for the four of them, or Abernathy and Zoë (and Kim), taking up some kind of vigilantism if your imagination takes you that way!

Game of Thrones (TV):

What I like about this is things like the setting and the worldbuilding and the houses and those houses' bannermen, the Wall, the structure of society and how everything changes but stays the same during the war. I like Daenerys's trials and tribulations outside Westeros and all the different places she goes and different cultures she encounters. I like the swords and bloody tournaments and melees, the stories people tell, bravery, strong women, the direwolves, the clothes, the politics (including Varys)...basically all of it. I don't have a problem with the violence of it, if that's helpful to know.

And yes, I've read the books. If you want to go with a more book-driven characterisation for any of these, or you want to bring in bits of book-only plot or backstory, I absolutely won't complain! Likewise, if you want to stick to show-only, that is wonderful by me. And I'm totally okay with canon-divergent AUs of any magnitude here, diverging at pretty much any point in canon from very recent to waaaaay back in the past with whatever effect you like - go with Robert's Rebellion having failed and the Targaryens still having the throne if you like, with there being a king in the north and a king in the south, Stannis or Renly or Robb (or even Ned, or whoever you like!) as king...I'd just prefer you didn't change the actual setting in Westeros too much (so no modern AUs).

To give you an idea of what sorts of things I like (they won't all be relevant to the requested ships but it might be useful?): my favourite parts have been Arya and Syrio Forel, Arya and Jaqen H'ghar, Tyrion in general, Jaime learning to fight again after his slight hand issue, all of Jaime's interactions with Brienne (it's his sense of humour and his outlook on life that I enjoy, I think) and Sansa's with Sandor Clegane, Jaime having killed the Mad King (and how Ned could've taken the throne himself if he hadn't been so loyal, and how people blame him for killing Aerys though it was pretty much the right thing to do), the supernatural elements, Davos's loyalty to Stannis (and no one really understanding it), Ned's commitment to duty even though he wants to stay in Winterfell...

Things I'm not so keen on are Joffrey, Lysa & Robert Arryn, Theon (other Greyjoys totally fine!), or any dwelling on kids/pregnancy/wanting to have kids, carrying on family lines, etc.

And, for prompts...I basically just want to wave my hands at all of these and say "anything, really!" because I really would like anything. But, briefly:

--- Requested Ship: Jaime Lannister/Ned Stark

These two are so different, but what can I say...I really like the idea! They're so close in age but they've ended up in such different places. Jaime does seem to have a sense of duty (and clearly has a sense of family), so that's not totally different to Ned. They're both able fighters. They're both from old families, though they're from totally different places and traditions. Seeing how they could interact would be great, whether that's grudgingly or antagonistically or on more equal terms, or they manage to develop some sort of friendship, or drunken hatesex!

- pre-canon (and probably pre-Catelyn), they meet at a tournament? Drinking, they're paired in a match...Ned would still be a second son then, and Jaime heir to Casterly Rock!
- pre-canon, Jaime doesn't go into the Kingsguard and ends up fighting with Ned in the rebellion?
- in-canon, Jaime goes to Winterfell with Robert et al and Something takes place with him and Ned.
- Jaime saves Ned's life after Robert's murder (whether secretly or otherwise) - does that do anything to change Ned's perception of him?
- canon-divergence where Jaime isn't the one to kill Aerys - Ned is.
- canon-divergence where Ned and Jaime end up wardens of the North and East, on the Small Council together.

--- Requested Ship: Jaime Lannister/Sansa Stark

Sansa starts out so in love with the idea of her perfect knight, and once upon a time Jaime Lannister could have been that. At this point they've both been through a lot, let's say, and Sansa's probably come to the conclusion that the knight she wanted doesn't actually exist, and Jaime's not the catch he once might've been for various reasons. And yet...

(Happy with Sansa being anything down to about 15 or so for this.)

- after the war, Sansa and Jaime have no choice but to marry.
- it somehow comes out that Jaime and Cersei are Secret Targaryens™ and Jaime takes the throne with Sansa as his queen instead of Cersei.
- Sansa is married to Jaime instead of Tyrion.
- after the war, Jaime is sent to Winterfell to serve the Starks.
- no war, Sansa meets Jaime at a tournament, and he's older than she'd like and they both know they shouldn't but somehow it happens anyway...

--- Requested Ship: Jorah Mormont/Daenerys Targaryen

Jorah, Jorah. He's not a good man. He's not even a particularly nice man. But he does seem to be genuinely in love with Daenerys, even if it's not exactly reciprocated or healthy for either of them. And Daenerys really does have good reasons to not want him around, but eventually she forgives him, or at least wants to (in rather different ways in the books and show!).

I'd be totally happy with either book or show canon events for these two (give him greyscale, send him off doing who knows what with the Second Sons, whatever!), but I prefer Jorah looking and sounding like Iain Glen rather than his book counterpart.

- canon divergence where Jorah actually told Daenerys about how he ended up in her service, and she actually did forgive him.
- Jorah comes back free from greyscale and does see Daenerys (re)take the Seven Kingdoms; what then?
- Jorah and the silver-haired prostitute, pretending she's Daenerys.
- maaaaybe, Jorah found other Daenerys lookalikes previously; maaaaybe, Daenerys found out; maaaaybe, she sets herself up as one of them.
- anything to do with Jorah's loyalty, or his fighting ability - teaching her to fight? saving her life (again)?

--- Requested Ship: Sansa Stark/Brienne of Tarth

Okay, these two! Sansa and her obsession with tales of knights and ladies, and Brienne basically is that knight, the one who's loyal to a fault and has a strong sense of honour and duty. And okay, so maybe she's not the handsome knight Sansa's dreamed about - she's not pretty like Loras or royal like Joffrey, and, well, she's not male - but she's everything else. I'd really like Sansa to appreciate Brienne's good qualities!

- Brienne goes to Winterfell with Sansa after the war. (Maybe Sansa as Warden of the North, Queen in the North, whatever you'd enjoy.)
- Brienne and Sansa in any sort of fairytale AU!
- Brienne stays with Sansa - either they both stay at Castle Black or they both go to Riverrun - would that change things at all?
- (If you go with book canon - Brienne and Sansa actually meet at some point!)
- Sansa learning to fight (and Brienne teaching her).
- no war, and they meet at a tournament.

--- Requested Ship: Tyrion Lannister/Sansa Stark

Yes, I'm one of those people who love Tyrion. He can be absolutely terrible, but I love him in spite (and because!) of it all. And honestly, he'd probably have made a decent husband for Sansa if not for all the Joffrey-death. She might have come to appreciate him, and I like to think she might've grown into herself in a slightly different way if she'd been married to him and maybe kept relatively safe rather than, well, anything that happened in either the show or the books.

I like his acerbic wit and her naivete that starts to wear into something more worldly, and the fact that honestly, Tyrion is probably one of the furthest from her ideal but one of the best people she could've met.

- Sansa escapes with Tyrion instead of Petyr (be that to Pentos when Tyrion escapes with Varys and she's also been imprisoned, or directly after Joffrey's death and they go elsewhere).
- after the war, Tyrion becomes Lord of Casterly Rock. Sansa agrees to be his wife and consolidate what's left of the Lannister and Stark bannermen, and Tyrion starts to grow on her...
- Sansa is sent away to Casterly Rock with Tyrion instead of being present at the Purple Wedding.
- Sansa and the Starks join forces with Daenerys and Yara and the Greyjoys to take the Seven Kingdoms. She spends time with Tyrion. Afterwards, Tyrion goes back to Winterfell with Sansa.
- anything where Sansa decides she actually doesn't mind the idea of going to bed with Tyrion.
- no war, but somehow they end up rather thrown together anyway (Winterfell, King's Landing, tournaments, Sansa's kidnapped, arranged marriage...)

Luther (TV):

I really like how dark this show manages to be without actually stepping over the line into depressing. I like the very, very London setting. I like how morally ambiguous Luther is and how he can't help but affect everyone around him. I like that he's capable of Not Nice things.

I also like the characters - pretty much all the characters, though I'd prefer not John/Justin (Justin not having died is totally fine, though, because argh, Justin, why!).

--- Requested Ship: John Luther/Alice Morgan

I absolutely adore their relationship in the show and I'd be really interested to see where that could actually go, whether it involves John turning a blind eye to the things Alice does or getting involved in them to a greater or lesser extent. I suspect it wouldn't take too much to tip him the other way, really, after everything that's happened.

Totally happy to see casefic where Alice is helping him, something with them getting into a relationship (or a complicated not-quite-one-night stand) mid-show, or something set post-series where John goes away and joins Alice wherever she is now and they somehow live happily ever after, whatever that actually means for the two of them. Alice courting him through postcards until he decides to go find her, maybe?

I like Alice being manipulative (even if she doesn't mean to be) but John being more or less her equal. I like John understanding her, and her resenting that just a bit but letting it happen anyway. I also like the two of them being insightful about each other, even when it comes off as sort of abrasive, making sacrifices for each other, etc.

--- Requested Ship: John Luther/Mark North

Okay, this one's a bit weird. I mean, Zoe died and they're both strongly affected by that, and they shouldn't like each other at all. They shouldn't even really be able to stand to be around each other. But then John goes to Mark for help with Jenny and I strongly suspect that that's not the last time they end up working together, helping each other out, or that it's even the first time because Mark seems to go along with it so exasperatedly but resignedly, like he's completely done with John's crap but eh, it's easier to go along with it.

I'd be interested in how an odd sort of working relationship might turn into more. I like the idea that Mark knows exactly what he's getting into but does it anyway. I like the idea that maybe he has even more of an idea of what he's getting into that John does. I'd prefer that it's not just some sort of temporary comfort after Zoe's death but they actually do end up getting to know each other - not that I'm asking for hearts and flowers because that's hardly fitting for the two of them but maybe they do come to some sort of agreement between the two of them.

Also totally here for tropey fic, like John roping Mark into an investigation where they're undercover as a couple (whether or not that also entails them having basically already been dating without John realising it). Maybe Mark's got a stalker that John sorts out or Mark gets involved in a case at work that John helps him with (or vice versa). Or hey, go for the two of them getting drunk together, fooling around together and then having to work out how that one happened.

--- Requested Ship: John Luther/Alice Morgan/Mark North

Yes, I know, this is sort of horribly wrong. But that's kind of why I'm requesting it, if that makes sense!

I'm down with Alice playing matchmaker and getting the two of them into bed with her. I'm totally fine with it being the result of a case, or maybe Mark's got entirely the wrong client at work and needs to disappear, and John and Alice help him with that.

I'm really interested in how the three of them could work together, either, y'know, actually working together (because they're all quite ridiculously intelligent individually - what would that look like if they worked as a team?), or as a weird relationshippy unit. I'm sure Mark's wary of Alice in a way, considering what happened, so how does he get past that? Does he? Or is he just so done with the two of them that he decides screw it, so much for being careful?

I'm down with a happy ending for all three, or maybe two of them end up together (not fussy about whether that's John/Mark, John/Alice or Mark/Alice - all three have really interesting potential!).

Moana (2016):

--- Requested Ship: Maui/Moana Waialiki

I am totally enamoured of these two, I swear. I didn't really go into Moana expecting to enjoy it half as much as I did for some reason (I'm generally not a fan of islands or sand or beaches!), but the characters and the story and the brightness and fun of it won me over. And it really doesn't hurt that he's a total egotistical git who warms up somewhat (and is a little bit afraid of what he's got to do), and she's strong-willed and gets a demi-god to do what she wants. That and, y'know, he's got The Rock's voice and he's about three times as big as she is, and hugely older!

Totally down with Moana being any age 16+ here, as long as she's clear about who she is and what she's doing.

- Maui and Moana meet again, maybe another adventure, maybe she needs his help or he needs hers, or maybe he just visits or they run into each other on the ocean!
- Stuck on an island together, mid- or post-canon. How do they escape? Do they? Do they get on each other's nerves? Do they get along?
- Maui stops by every now and then, and Moana's the only one who's not totally wowed by him...which makes him want to wow her. ;)
- The Ocean plays matchmaker.
- I'm aaaabsolutely fine with G- or T-rated stuff for this, but if you'd like to go the slightly higher-rated route: Te Fiti-related sex pollen! Any kind of sex pollen! Ritual calls for something smutty! (Yes, I know he's massive in comparison to her - I am 100% fine with anywhere that thought might take you!) :D


--- Requested Ship: Ducky Mallard/Abby Sciuto

I really enjoy NCIS, for all the irritatingly fridgy moments (argh, Ziva!). Abby is amazing and Ducky is absolutely my favourite, and I'd be very interested in seeing them end up closer. The age difference is great (assume Abby's whatever age you like, since whatshername who plays her seems to be capable of defying time), and I love how competent they both clearly are.

Totally happy for anyone else you might wish to include to appear, from any of the NCIS shows (I've seen the first 13 of NCIS, the first 2 of NCIS:NOLA and the first 7 of NCIS:LA because ugh, they seem slow to release on DVD in the UK and I don't watch as-it-airs TV, but I'm fine with relatively minor spoilers).

I'd be into anything that involves Ducky and Abby working together, sharing stories about their personal lives or working out personal problems together. Maybe they have dinner - Ducky asks Abby to dinner with him and she wonders if it's a date, Abby asks Ducky to dinner and he doesn't think it's a date but it is...I'm absolutely fine with Abby initiating things or with it being Ducky ("she wouldn't be interested, I'm too old" is fine here, with Abby convincing him that's rubbish, or Ducky realising Abby's outlook on him has changed and deciding to take a leap).

Or maybe there's something traumatic that throws them together, or it's complete and utter fluff (totally disregard my general dislike for pure fluff here - I'd be super-happy with fluffy, happy, upbeat Ducky/Abby!). Maybe Ducky buys Abby new lab equipment he knows she wants but NCIS won't buy, or Abby buys Ducky a bowtie and helps to tie it. Maybe Ducky needs a place to stay the night, or Abby does, or they start having lunch together every day and things develop, or or or.

Basically: I'd love anything for these two, from fluff to dirtybadwrong. Please go where your heart takes you!

Stoker (2013):

--- Requested Ship: Charlie Stoker/India Stoker

I loved this film, for all its glorious fuckedupedness. It's so prettily shot, the costumes are great, there's sort of an out-of-time quality to it and everything's just stunning. And I love the thing with the shoes and the letters and all of that. And, of course, there's totally a weird sexy vibe between Charlie and India, I swear, and I'm aaaabsolutely here for that! So, I guess I'm basically asking for dirtybadwrong Charlie/India.

Maybe something where Charlie doesn't die and they leave together. Maybe something where they manage to keep each other from being found out, or Charlie pays vastly more attention to India than he does to her mother. Maybe they go on a sort of Bonnie and Clyde killing spree. Maybe they pretend they're not related, take on new identities and disappear (or don't bother pretending they're not related, who knows). Or maybe something more mid-canon and Charlie walks in on her in the shower, or there's crazy piano duetting that ends rather differently.

Basically, feel free to go as weird and dark and twisted and awful as you like, because the film very nearly went there already! :D

Hollywood Actor RPF:

Okay, first things first: feel free to use or disregard as much or as little of actual real-life occurrences as you please when it comes to any of these ships. I know a bit about all of the people involved, but I'm totally willing to suspend any and all disbelief when it comes to RPF.

In terms of marriages and partners: I'm up for "never got together with current/past partners," I'm up for "partners know and don't mind", I'm okay with "oh God I know we shouldn't but we just can't help it" or "they conveniently broke up". I'd just rather no massive dwelling on cheating if it happens, and no massive bashing of their actual/past partners!

Feel free to set these anywhere you want - Hollywood, on a beach in the Caribbean, on a film set (one that's actually happened or a totally made-up film), on someone else's film set, hotels, cons, whatever. But I'd prefer they all still be actors and it not be a coffee shop AU or in space or whatnot - I'm definitely into these ships as actors.

--- Requested Ship: Ben Affleck/Brad Pitt

I'm amused by the fact that they both dated Gwyneth Paltrow and are both pretty good friends with Matt Damon and honestly, they seem like they'd get along pretty well!

Ben visiting the set of an Ocean's movie would be fun. Brad tagging along with Matt to some sort of Ben-related function. On a talk show together (or after filming the . Making an imaginary film together (either both as actors or Ben directing Brad). Bring Brad into some DCEU stuff if you like! Or set it way back when Ben was dating Gwyneth and they run into Brad.

--- Requested Ship: Ben Affleck/Josh Hartnett

I blame that silly not-quite-blooper thing from Pearl Harbor for this, the one where they're reenacting the animal crackers scene from Armageddon and Josh is being Liv Tyler. I'd kind of like to see where else that might have led!

Or, they meet after that. Maybe years after that, and they're older but not necessarily a lot wiser and reminisce. Maybe they run into each other at a party or a festival or a con or something and have a few drinks (or a few drinks too many). Maybe they wind up on another movie together. Maybe they kept in touch over the years.

I'm very much into the fact that they're both tall guys, especially for actors, and they can both look pretty big and can be very silly when interviewed (or conversely very serious).

--- Requested Ship: Ben Affleck/Charlize Theron

I'm more or less in love with Charlize Theron and basically all I want for this is Ben to be, too. ;)

And okay, so the film they made together isn't fantastic (and is confusingly called Deception in the UK rather than Reindeer Games, but eh), but it brought us these delightful photos of the two of them! And basically I just think they'd be the prettiest couple, which is shallow but hey.

I'd be interested in the two of them meeting again years after the movie (either that awards ceremony they both attended where he gave her an award or elsewhere), maybe there was something between them on set, or they get involved in another movie or some sort of fundraising thing or charity event.

Buuuut, mostly I just want him to think she's stunning and her to think he's hilarious. I'm pretty sure both these things are true. :D

--- Requested Ship: Paul Newman/Steve McQueen

Yep, this one is inspired entirely by The Towering Inferno and how dreadfully these two got along.

It sounds a lot like McQueen was the one with the problem, mostly - there was a whole "they're both actors who race cars" thing going on and McQueen seems to have basically just wanted to be the best.

And then came The Towering Inferno with its diagonal billing and the same number of lines for each of them and the same pay and the same everything. And it just seems like they both had a terrible time making that film (though I do love it horribly!), and Newman at least seemed to regret ever having said yes to it.

I'm very much here for antagonistic hatesex, either on set, or before the movie, or sometime after. I'm also totally into the idea of them getting into a fight or otherwise riled up, or getting drunk and arguing, or talking about the fact McQueen turned down Butch Cassidy because of Newman (though that seemed to work out for both Newman and Robert Redford!). goes to the other with the notion that their characters get together after the events of the film and whoever's having this said to them is trying to figure out what the angle is, how this is supposed to backfire, and things escalate...

--- Requested Ship: Sylvester Stallone/Jason Statham

What I love about the Expendables movies is they're basically an epic (b)romance between Sylvester Stallone's character and Jason Statham's character. Those characters bleeding into their relationship would be great, including the banter because to be honest, they actually do that sometimes when you see them together in interviews. I'd prefer their respective partners either know and don't have an issue with it or don't know the specifics but don't have an issue with the general idea of them seeing someone else on the down-low.

Ideas I like: Working out together, phone calls after filming ends, something happening when they're back together for marketing purposes, Sly's terrible purple jacket from Cannes after the Expendables 3 premiere... or maybe it's been bubbling under the surface since the first film and nothing actually comes of it till Jason nearly drowns on the set of the third film. I'm willing to ignore actual RL events, timelines, most of reality, as long as they're still actors who made the Expendables films and this doesn't turn into a coffee shop AU.

Crossover Fandom:

--- Requested Ship: Barney Ross (The Expendables)/Casey Ryback (Under Siege)

Okay, I admit it: I love the idea of Steven Seagal turning up in an Expendables film. And since I love The Expendables and I love Under Siege, Barney/Casey it is! They've both got such an amusing sense of humour, and they're so good at what they do, and the films are such shooty-stabby-quippy fun. :D

I can't see any reason why Ryback and Barney couldn't've met in service - backstory for that would be great. There's also no reason they couldn't be acquaintances who work together sometimes, once Ryback's out of the Navy, or meet on an op - maybe Ryback got back in with the Navy and didn't spend the rest of his career confined to a galley, goes back to the SEALs, they need the Expendables' help...maybe Strannix didn't die and they need Ryback's help? But don't think I'm tied to there being tons of plot if you're not feeling it. Short is good (they meet, they reminisce, etc.), as is PWP.

Casey's apparently an excellent cook, so feel free to go for him cooking for Barney. Also: sparring! Maybe they're super-competitive! Maybe sharing war stories. Maybe they know things about each other that the others don't. The banter would probably be epic because they're both so sarcastic.

Basically: older guys being super-competent, or the two of them as younger guys... being super-competent!

--- Requested Ship: Captain Flint (Black Sails)/Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre 2006)

I'm thinking of the Rochester from the 2006 Toby Stephens version of Jane Eyre here, because, well, both characters are played by Toby Stephens. Yes, I'm That Fan.

I love these two things and I tend to think the tone would work well together, though I might be the only one! Jane Eyre isn't a happy story all the way through, let's face it, and Black Sails is all grime and salt and blood and cursing and sex and death in a way that makes me very happy. And okay, so they're separated by something like 40-50 years, but I'm sure we can blur the lines a bit! A bit earlier/later and you never know, their paths could have crossed either in London or in the Caribbean, etc. Maybe Rochester ran into Flint instead of Bertha. Maybe his ship was attacked by pirates. Maybe Rochester knew the Hamiltons and was introduced to James McGraw in town, to whom he bears a spooky resemblance.

Maybe they're related - secret brothers, half brothers, cousins, whatever. Angst is fine, as I suspect there'd be angst anyway - Rochester seems to have poor luck in love and Flint is just a ball of grey-moralled, angst-ridden murder. And I do love that they're both Toby Stephens, so whether you go the slightly odd relations route or not (I'm absolutely not tied to it!), I'd very much like them to be very much aware that they look strikingly alike.

--- Requested Ship: Eliot Spencer (Leverage)/John Wick (John Wick)

Honestly, I think I want what everyone else requesting this wants! That's basically either John going to Eliot after the events of John Wick 2, and/or them having known each other beforehand.

I'd be interested in backstory for the two of them - did they know each other before John got out of the game and went to ground? How did they know each other? Did they work together, work against each other, find themselves on the same job in competition...was it anything to do with Eliot's time working for Damien Moreau? Have they ever got into a fist-fight with each other?

I'd also be interested in John teaming up with the Leverage guys! Feel free to fudge timelines and have him working with them before he left the business, or have him come in after the second film, whether it's as a client or as a temporary or permanent team member. I'd like to see how he'd react to Eliot's set-up with Parker and Hardison (I'm not tied to the three of them being together together if you don't want to go in that direction, and I'm fine with Eliot being just a casual part of that if you fancy).

Or, y'know, just the two of them sparring! :D And anything to do with their height difference - John is a good few inches taller than Eliot, and I am very much Into That!

--- Requested Ship: Elizabeth Swann (PotC)/Eleanor Guthrie (Black Sails)

Okay, so they're basically the same character in different canons (see also: Elaine Marley from Monkey Island!). Eleanor has real pirates to deal with and Elizabeth has supernatural pirates (amongst other stuff!), but they both come at it head-on and don't flinch when things go sideways.

I'd kind of like to see what happens when their worlds collide: the supernatural happening in Black Sails would be horrible and grim and bloody and pretty much glorious. Elizabeth in Black Sails would probably be pretty grim and bloody, too. I'd also be interested in Eleanor and Elizabeth somehow ending up being (unlikely, I admit) governors of Nassau and Port Royal respectively and there being trade or some sort of interaction between them, or Eleanor taking up as a pirate with Elizabeth (and maybe Jack and Will and co).

Maybe a strange AU where Elizabeth married Norrington (who becomes governor of Port Royal), and Eleanor marries Woodes Rogers (as governor of New Providence) - you can see how that might lead to the two of them being in the same room, and then shenanigans! Of course, I'd still like them to maintain a sense of agency and not just sit around in pretty dresses and crochet or whatever, like they ever would. Or maybe Elizabeth has her own pirate crew and operates out of Nassau, under Eleanor's rule.

Maybe Elizabeth is older (telling tall tales to Eleanor?) or Eleanor is older (odd kind of role model to Elizabeth?), or they're totally contemporary. Also, I'm happy for Elizabeth to have known and/or married Will or not, for the timelines to be totally different, entirely up to you.

--- Requested Ship: Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones Series)/Evy Carnahan O'Connell (The Mummy Series)

This is another ship where they're roughly contemporaries and, logically, their parents could have known each other before Indy's mum and Evy's parents died. Maybe Howard Carnahan and Henry Jones Sr worked together. Maybe their mothers were friends.

Maybe they were both students of Abner Ravenwood's. Maybe Indy spent a semester in Oxford, or Evy spent time in Chicago. Maybe they studied together at the Sorbonne, or maybe Indy needed help at some point and they met at Evy's workplace in Cairo, or after the events of the first Mummy film when the Bembridge Scholars are knocking on Evy's door. Maybe they cross paths at the other side of the world, after the same artefact. Maybe Marion and Rick need their help.

Totally fine with this happening either pre-movies, mid-series or after the Crystal Skull movie with everyone ~60ish, or at various points throughout! Poly, meeting before they're married or open marriages are great - I'd prefer this lot didn't outright cheat, unless you're really going to sell me on why. Also: Evy = Rachel Weisz and you can't tell me otherwise. ;)

--- Requested Ship: Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones Series)/Rick O'Connell (The Mummy Series)

I love the Mummy and Indiana Jones films with a glorious passion, and the only thing that could possibly make them better is a crossover! One thing, though: Evy is definitely Rachel Weisz for me, though feel free to have the events of Tomb of the Dragon Emperor have taken place with her in them.

Rick and Indy are roughly contemporaries and I kind of like the idea of their fathers having known each other (we don't know much about Rick's dad, so maybe he was some sort of historian? maybe he worked with Indy's dad?), or them having gone to school together, and then their lives diverging (though they're oddly not all that dissimilar when it comes to their strangely supernatural adventures!). Maybe Indy was medjai in a past life. Maybe they've know each other dozens of times.

If you're not into the idea of them having known each other pre-movies, how about they meet while on some kind of adventure? Egypt is a good location for it but maybe South America or somewhere like Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, could also be interesting. Then again, go with what you like so if you've got any ideas about Viking treasure hoards or religious artefacts or rare books or whatnot, go for it!

If you're up for plot, maybe Rick being along for the ride in one of the Indiana Jones films, or Indy showing up in The Mummy? Maybe they meet in the British Museum or they know each other by reputation, or meet through Evy and/or Marion. Nazi-fighting is an obvious one where Indy's concerned. Or maybe they meet in a bar somewhere completely random and they hit it off, realise they're both after the same artefact, or end up in bed (or hey, archaeological sex pollen works).

Absolutely down with PWP if the fancy strikes. And feel free to set it whenever you like - maybe they're younger, maybe they're older. Also feel free to do whatever you like with Rick and Indy's relationships with Evy and Marion - handwave them away, amicable splits, never-together AU, cheating-and-feel-awful, open relationships...whatever you like.

Rick wearing Indy's hat would be amusing, the two of them being mistaken for each other, being trapped together, a competition, Indy teaching Rick to use his whip...

--- Requested Ship: Marion Ravenwood (Indiana Jones Series)/Evy Carnahan O'Connell (The Mummy Series)

They're roughly contemporaries (I know, I know, Marion's supposedly born in 1909 and Evy in 1890, but 1890 sounds FAR too early for Evy. If you go with age difference, I'd say Evy was born in 1900 and was therefore mid-20s at the time of the first Mummy film), and I kind of like the idea of their fathers having known each other, families having moved in the same circles, etc.

I also like them maybe having gone to school together (either boarding school in England or maybe Marion went to Oxford?), and then their lives diverging (though they're oddly not all that dissimilar when it comes to strange adventures!). Or, maybe they knew each other in a past life. Or several past lives. Maybe they've adventured throughout time, just in different bodies!

If you're not into the idea of them having known each other pre-movies, how about they meet while on some kind of adventure? Egypt is a good stand-by but maybe South America or somewhere like Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, could be interesting. Then again, go with what you like and if you've got any idea about Viking treasure hoards or religious artefacts or rare books or whatnot, go for it!

I'm sort of intrigued by the idea of there being sort of culture clash between them, with Evy the prim and proper Brit and Marion slightly brasher considering she's lived in some interesting places and very much not in the lap of luxury. Drinking competitions! Battles of wits (because they're both clearly intelligent)! Starting off on opposite sides but coming together for the Greater Good!

--- Requested Ship: Rita Vrataski (Edge of Tomorrow)/Ellen Ripley (Alien Series)

I basically love the rather grim, dark sci-fi universe of these two movies. I like the technology that looks like it could actually be part of the world because it's not just slick and clean and great.

I think you could probably finagle the timelines so that either Rita's older during the events of the Alien movies, or there's cryosleep shenanigans that mean they meet later on. Or heck, maybe there's off-world stuff happening when the events of EoT happen that we just don't know about and they're actually somehow contemporaries. Or Weyland-Yutani did it, something else, or handwave. Handwaving is A-OK.

I bet Ripley would rock in one of the powered suits they use in Edge of Tomorrow, and Rita teaching her to use it would be amazing. Ripley and Rita in a time loops. Ripley and Rita dealing with xenomorphs. Ripley and Rita in space!

Do they get along or is Rita as gruff with Ripley as she seems to be with everyone else? Training together and things develop unexpectedly. Maybe Rita's one of the marines in Aliens - how would that change things? Maybe Rita being Ripley's training officer before she goes on her first mission or the work together or just meeting in a bar... totally happy with a one night stand here or a full-blown relationship.

--- Requested Ship: Rita Vrataski (Edge of Tomorrow)/Mako Mori (Pacific Rim)

I'd love to see them pilot a jaeger or Mako being involved in the Mimic War, one training the other, sparring, getting under each other's skin and on each other's nerves. You know Mako would try to be professional, and Rita wouldn't be shy about letting everyone know what she thinks. Maybe Rita's the seasoned pro who's lost her partner and gets Mako as a replacement.

Maybe Pacific Rim fits into the timeline just after Edge of Tomorrow and Rita's older and grumpier - how would Mako get in under her defences? Who was Rita's former partner (I'm up for that being Cage, Hendricks, or an OC)? How would Mako deal with suddenly understanding how Rita and Cage saved the world that one time? I tend to think Cage tells Rita after the end of EoT and knows enough about her to convince her it's true.

Totally happy to see any of the characters from either movie in this, if we do happen to match on it. If you'd like to include any Mako/Raleigh or Rita/Cage, I'm totally fine with that, but absolutely not required - I'm 100% here for the Mako/Rita.

--- Requested Ship: Victoria Winslow (RED)/Harry Hart (Kingsman)

I seriously love whoever it was who came up with this ship.

I love that Victoria's older than Harry, so maybe she trained him, at least in part. Maybe they worked together, once upon a time - maybe Harry and Victoria as a sort of Steed and Peel duo!

Maybe Maybe MI6 and the Kingsmen have to work together and Victoria's who they send. Maybe they meet on an op and have to cooperate. Maybe one saves the other's life. Maybe one's sent to kill the other, before or after Victoria's spat with MI6. Maybe Bond-like casinos and evening dress in Monte Carlo. Maybe Harry looking less than impressed with wandering the countryside in his suit. Just, silly and hyper-competent and life-threatening shenanigans would be great.

Totally happy with this being set while they're younger or present day, or maybe they meet up again in the future, or a weird mix of all three. :D
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