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[personal profile] thedevilchicken
Dear RMSE Creator!

Some of this is taken directly from previous letters because my likes/wants really don't change all that much! Apologies for any repetition.

Aside from my DNWs (which aren't exactly extensive), go ahead and pick and choose through anything/everything below. I'm pretty easy to please so if you want to read the DNWs, skip the rest and write the fic of your heart (or indeed draw the art of your heart!) in whatever fandom we matched on, that's totally fine by me.

Note: I'm completely happy with any rating ranging from the mildest G right up to the most explicit of explicit (for fic or for art). Also, length of prompts below doesn't indicate that I want one fandom more than another - I just have more words for some and more incoherent squee for others. ;)

Fanart: All my requests are for fic or art, and I should probably make it clear that I'm 100% happy with either! But I'm terrible at giving art-specific prompts (I'm trying to improve!) so really, if we match on art and nothing from the prompts below grabs you then I'm totally fine with just my requested character(s) appearing on the same page.

Kissing is good, sparring/physical activity is good, something reminiscent of a canon scene is good... also happy with something porny or dark. I love contrasting colours, bold lines, little details like jewellery or specific clothes people wore in canon, I like fingers twined together (or in hair), or anything from my list of likes below!


100% DNWs:
  • children/pregnancy (not even vague mentions of pregnancy at all, please, including mpreg and oviposition, and no children as main characters - I'm happy to read a bit about the characters themselves as kids in the past, but I'd prefer everyone involved be adults at the time the fic takes place)
  • D/s lifestyle (casual D/s without minute negotiation, or totally unnegotiated dubcon iffiness, are both A-OK!)
  • humiliation (as a kink or otherwise)
  • scat/watersports/emetophilia
  • A/B/O
  • ageplay/infantilisation
  • any mention of spiders/tarantulas or similar - other creepy-crawlies are fine

Things I'm not fond of:
  • character death, if followed only by someone else's unending woeful angst (death in general is fine, feel free to kill whichever characters you like)
  • threesomes/moresomes/poly, unless requested
  • pure fluff/curtainfic - happy is wonderful, holding hands while skipping through meadows not so much! (unless you're going for crackfic, in which case totally fine!)


Basically, as long as it's not in my DNWs, absolutely go for it - I mean that 100%. Zombie apocalypse? Really kinky porn? Gore? Random crack? Badfic on purpose? Wacky AUs? All fine, and more! But, if you want ideas about what I like:

General likes:
  • time loops
  • Pacific Rim fusions
  • snarky, sarcastic or tongue-in-cheek humour
  • banter
  • characters getting older; ageing
  • characters knowing each other really well (whether as friends or enemies)
  • futurefic/post-canon
  • competence, whether physical or intellectual (or both)
  • action scenes; gruelling training; battles; fights (fistfights and with weapons)
  • characters being forced to fight/kill (Hunger Games, Mortal Kombat, that kind of thing)
  • seemingly insignificant details that turn out to be super-important/significant
  • worldbuilding
  • ridiculous crossovers (or indeed sensible ones)

For shipfic (in addition to the above):
  • friends to lovers; enemies to lovers; enemies to friends to lovers
  • characters who know each other really well (or get to know each other really well) and show it without meaning to or really trying to
  • people not saying 'I love you' but clearly meaning/demonstrating it anyway (that's not to say I totally DNW people saying 'I love you', btw - for some characters it works!)
  • tough characters making themselves realistically vulnerable
  • differences and contrasts in age/height/etc. (especially when the smaller/younger one isn't actually small/young, only in comparison to the other character)
  • one character being physically stronger than the other (especially if the weaker one isn't weak, only weaker in comparison); manhandling
  • happy (or at least hopeful) endings
  • getting together
  • first time (first time together, or getting back together after years apart)
  • competence kink
  • loyalty kink; trust kink
  • jealousy/possessiveness/co-dependency/protectiveness
  • admiration (physical and/or intellectual)
  • me-and-you-against-the-world
  • identity porn (roleplaying; undercover; secret identities; amnesia)
  • characters wearing each other's clothes
  • fake dating or undercover turning into something more
  • everyone thinks they're dating (but they're not, except maybe then they are)
  • dating but they don't realise (or one of them doesn't but the other does, for cultural/obliviousness reasons)

Explicit/kinky fic:
  • fight sex, or sparring/arguing turning into more
  • rough sex in general, and rough sex that turns slower and/or more intense from one time to the next
  • knifeplay, gunplay, weaponplay in general
  • breathplay/choking (preferably with hands)
  • bloodplay (preferably involving knives)
  • semi-clothed sex; clothed/naked; how awkward clothing (or armour, etc.) is removed
  • sex in showers
  • one character shaving a (male) character's face (preferably with a cutthroat razor but I'll adore anything!)
  • one character writing on another's skin; marking with cuts or bruises
  • stories behind scars/bruises/tattoos (and touching/kissing them, or reopening/reinjuring them)
  • characters kinking on differences in age/height/strength
  • sexual fantasies
  • voice/accent kink; phone sex; sexual situations where one character can hear the other one but not see them (e.g. in total darkness)
  • switching - I have absolutely no strict top/bottom roles in mind (and switching mid-scene is also great)
  • for m/m, first time topping/bottoming/with a guy
  • desperation; characters knowing they shouldn't but not being able to help themselves
  • characters who think they're just having casual sex ending up unexpectedly desperately in love, whether they like it or not
  • hard, desperate kissing; fingers in hair

If you fancy writing me a crossover, whether sensible or completely cracky, I'd totally encourage you to go ahead and do it. :D In terms of fandoms: if I've requested it for an exchange (my master list of exchange letters and fandoms I've requested is here) or I've written it (my AO3 page is here, you can safely assume it's fine to write for me!

Darker fic:
I enjoy darkfic and dark art so as long as it's not in my DNWs, go for it. Torture porn, ghost stories, scary magic, religious weirdness, twisted mindfuckery, non-con, gaslighting, serious body horror, all absolutely A-OK. Feel free to use bad/offensive/dirty language if it fits the fic, as much swearing as you like, etc. I'll read just about anything, including xeno, vore, serial killer AUs, whatever tickles your fancy. Basically: excepting my DNWs, feel free to try to weird me out!

All prompts below are just ideas - absolutely feel free to go in whatever direction you like!

Request-specific info:

Drive Angry:

--- Requested Ship: John Milton/The Accountant

Okay, I know, this film is utterly ridiculous. It's almost as ridiculous as Ghost Rider 2, and that's possibly the most ridiculous film I've ever seen (thank you, Nic Cage, you utter lunatic, is there anything you wouldn't do for cash?). But it's the good kind of ridiculous and I love it. I really, really do. It's just so spectacularly overblown and silly and everything about it is just full of :D!

I love the fact that it's randomly supernatural but that's not horribly overplayed - it's a lot more sweary and violent than completely full of religious magic (but I love the religious magic, too, don't get me wrong). I love that Piper isn't just along for the ride and actually does kick ass (so if she turns up, ass-kicking would be appreciated!), and that the Accountant doesn't have a personal grudge against Milton so much as he's basically just doing his job (and seems to find Milton amusing).

The cars are great, the whole gunfight-while-having-sex thing just killed me with lol, and really, the rougher and dafter and more over-the-top it gets, the more I love it. And the god-killing gun hints at something Supernatural-like that I really enjoy (to be fair, if you wanted to go a sort of SPN-crossover route, or weave your own made-up, weird religious demon-hunterish lore into it, I totally wouldn't say no).

So, in terms of prompts:

- what happens next? Milton's going back to hell, sure, but are they going directly back to jail? Road trip on the way? Another job comes up before they get to the precise place Milton needs to go and so The Accountant takes him with him? Heck, he might be decent back-up, if he doesn't try to escape...
- The Accountant needs Milton to do something for him - maybe helping him track down someone else who's escaped? Someone Milton used to know? Another of Milton's relatives (maybe years and years in the future again)? Random cult?
- The Accountant has a problem only Milton can help him solve? I'd be very into Milton having to wear a suit and griping about it the whole time. Who is the Accountant, anyway?
- The Accountant visits Milton in hell. What would they talk about? What would they do? What is hell actually like?
- Milton is true to his word and escapes again. Does he take any random god-killing occult artefacts with him this time? Or maybe he escapes multiple times until it's basically just a running joke when the Accountant turns up to take him back again.
- bizarre PWP in/on a car (or indeed anywhere else - dodgy motel? high-class hotel if Milton's on loan-out to help the Accountant?), with/without kinks in my likes above (whatever you like, considering basically neither of them can die, or maybe Milton has a gun/knife that could actually do the Accountant some harm)

(Also: feel free to give The Accountant a name and backstory if that pleases you! Who is he? Was he ever human or is he a straight-up demon?)

Escape Plan:

--- Requested Ship: Ray Breslin/Emil Rottmayer

This film just looks like Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger decided they wanted to work together again and came up with a film whose basic premise seems to be Sly and Arnie Have Fun. The film has a great sense of humour because of it. And I have a thing for escape movies, too, so it's not a surprise that I liked this!

I really enjoyed Arnie ranting distractingly in German, Jim Caviezel made a great slimy bad guy, Sam Neill played conflicted quite well and oh, Vinnie day you'll play a likeable character but until you do, your bad guys are awesome. The plans they made to get out are sort of fascinating (and the fact that Emil just trust Ray to do what he needs to because he knows his daughter sent him, no matter how daft the things he asks him to do seem). I like how they both do and don't get along and how much of an expert at this kind of thing Ray is.

I'd kind of like to see the two of them meet again after the escape, whether that's for another escape, breaking someone out of somewhere, some kind of bizarre caper connected to Rottmayer/Mannheim's business, or just something simple like sitting down for coffee. I'm interested in whether Ray keeps up the prison work after the escape, or maybe he decides to do something else with his life instead. Maybe he goes to work for Mannheim. Maybe they end up captured again but this time it's some sort of fight-to-the-death scenario. Maybe they just get together from time to time for no particular reason at all except they reluctantly understand each other. Maybe undercover as a couple - Ray stumbles into one of Mannheim's schemes and they end up playing Rottmayer and Portos to keep Mannheim's cover.

And, really, anything playing on the fact that they're both getting on in age (and maybe aren't quite as fantastically cut out for this work as they used to be!) and they're both big guys with sort of sarcastic bantery streaks would be awesome.

The Guardian:

--- Requested Ship: Ben Randall/Jake Fischer

Argh, these two! I'm a total sucker for age difference and mentor/mentee relationships, and I absolutely love stuff involving full-on hardcore training (military or otherwise), so there was roughly no way on earth I wasn't going to enjoy this film.

I love the whole training bit - the (pretty genuinely horrific!) things Randall had them all do but that they're all because he wants to make sure they're ready for the job they think they want to do. And Jake beating all Randall's records but it getting through to him that he could win all the records and still not make it through A School, or have even half the career Randall had, is pretty awesome.

Then there's Jake going out to Kodiak - did he request that? Did Randall request that? Was it totally random in terms of assignments? And the part where he says he wouldn't have put Jake in the Bering Sea if he didn't think he was ready (and then Jake talking Randall out of the cave and trying to convince everyone in the helicopter that Randall's absolutely fine) that really gets me!

I also love that scene in the school where Randall tells Jake he knows what he's going through, and the idiocy with the bar fight. I'm A-OK with this being while they're at A School, btw - maybe Jake never meets Emily or he says goodbye that night after he accidentally ditches her at dinner - and there's a moment in Randall's office or they end up drunk and sleeping it off in Randall's room even though it's completely idiotic and Jake doesn't know what the heck to say the morning after.

Or, at Kodiak. Maybe Randall doesn't die and they argue after about how he tried to let go but Jake wouldn't let him. Maybe they wind up with Jake staying at Randall's place till he finds something of his own except he never actually does find something of his own and neither one of them makes a fuss about it so Jake just never leaves. Maybe there's a really bad call-out and they fight after and wind up doing something stupid together.

Or, just putting it out there - Randall does die but Jake decides to stay on because he realises they whole "Guardian" thing is true and there's some sort of weird supernatural thing going on so they do actually meet again. I'm also down with that!

But really, I'd just like these two managing to either have a relationship or have, like, one night, and feel like there might be someone out there who understands why they do what they do.


--- Requested Ship: Connor MacLeod/Duncan MacLeod

Okay, it's pseudo-incestuous and a little bit wrong and it doesn't exactly end well if you follow the post-series movies, but that's probably why I like it. I'm absolutely happy for you to play up or play down the pseudo-incest angle here however you want, though, make it as "oh no we shouldn't" or "eh, we're not really related" as long as there's a notion that they've known each other for a long time and know each other really well. If you want to paint them as basically brothers (and finding that awful but wanting it despite it, or kind of getting off on it), or more distantly as clansmen and eventually friends, either way's lovely.

I'm actually okay with the events of Endgame making an appearance in this if you're up for Duncan-kills-Connor, or forget it ever happened if you prefer and go with pre-, mid- or post-canon for the show, ignoring the films. I sort of prefer Duncan with the long hair anyway! ;) Obviously it does kind of get lost in canon that Connor died when he was

As with Duncan/Fitz below, any time period and location is fine here. To be honest, most of what I wrote about Duncan/Fitz applies here, too - I always enjoyed it when Connor turned up in the show, or someone talked about Connor, and the idea of him popping into Duncan's life unexpected and Things Happening is sort of amusing. Or maybe they have reasons to be undercover as a couple, or one of them ends up with amnesia...

Drinking or training or sparring or out-and-out fighting turning into something more would be good! Also happy fic or something with h/c, or with Connor being Duncan's first time with a guy and Connor being vastly more experienced in that department. Which would be hot.

--- Requested Ship: Hugh Fitzcairn/Duncan MacLeod

Seriously, why don't more people enjoy Duncan/Fitz!

They're been friends (and friendly rivals) for centuries. They have great banter. They understand each other, and they're more than a little bit alike. They have madcap adventures together! And they both womanise terribly and sometimes that doesn't go very well, so maybe they manage to not strike it lucky one night, do or don't get extremely drunk and end up knocking boots.

Undercover as a couple with unexpected consequences works, as does some sort of comforting-after-a-breakup thing, sex for warmth, A Shared Quickening Made Them Do It (or pretty much any trope you like!). Also totally up for the two of them being deeply in denial that they're not totally straight, or at least Duncan being in denial and Fitz thinking that's hilarious and deciding to challenge it. Maybe they do it to get a woman into bed with them and end up spending more time on each other than on her (preferably a nondescript OC rather than a canon character). Maybe they fight over a woman and fighting ends up turning into something else. Maybe they actually get the swords out to fight until they realise they're being idiots and make out instead. Or hey, modern-day costume party and they dress up in something they might've worn in an earlier time, flashbacks and costume kink ahoy.

I'm totally happy with it being a sort of Unexpected Feelings thing that comes from an unexpected encounter or a really casual friends-with-benefits type thing, or anything in between. An AU where Fitz doesn't die would obviosuly be fine, setting it before canon in a time period and location of your choice would also be great, or something where Duncan looks back after Fitz's death. But really, I'm looking for them knowing each other really well and some kind of physical relationship coming into it.

The Last Stand:

--- Requested Ship: Ray Owens/Frank Martinez

Okay, okay, I know it's not a good film. I think we probably all know it's not exactly a classic of modern cinema - it's not even a classic action movie, let's face it, though I did enjoy Arnie in it. But goddamnit, I enjoyed it anyway, and no one's taking that away from me!

Silly, over-the-top action films are one of my absolute favourite things and I went into this one expecting to be annoyed by Johnny Knoxville to the point where I'd have to turn it off. It turns out I actually think his character works, but my favourites were Arnie as Sheriff Owens and Rodrigo Santoro as Frank. The age difference works for me in so many ways, and they're both badasses in their own weird ways, and...well, they're pretty? They have a potential mentor/student thing I like? They both have unpleasant histories?

I love the sheriff's sort of world-weary thing but that he's still on alert even when he's supposed to be off work, and that he copes so damn well with the whole thing even though he moved there to get away from work like that. He's amazingly competent and once he's started he wants to finish, and he doesn't seem to have lost any of his oomph since moving from LA to be sheriff in a small town. For the purposes of fic: I like to think he's single, never married, probably gay and has never had a particularly successful relationship, probably isn't out to the community but there's not really been any need for him to be because he's not been involved in a while. But if you'd prefer to write him as divorced and only just now exploring his sexuality, that's also totally fine!

For Frank, I like the idea of him actually continuing to be a deputy after the film and starting to get himself together. I suspect he and Sarah probably wouldn't survive working together but she does seem invested in his recovery so I'd probably expect them to at least be on speaking terms. I'd say his PTSD isn't going away anytime soon, either, but maybe Ray gets that - was he military before he was a cop, maybe, with somewhat similar experiences? Feel free to make Frank as much of a mess as you like, though, whether he manages to keep his new job or not, as long as he and Ray somehow manage to make some sort of relationship out of it and things do start to look up for him by the end (I'd definitely prefer a hopeful ending here!).

Maybe they start spending more and more time together because of the job, or because Ray understands and more people don't; maybe drinking with the sheriff on his porch is safer than drinking in town and causing a scene (and they eventually share war stories?), or he turns up there drunk and stays the night (maybe more than once, maybe it becomes a regular thing). Maybe they work together. Maybe they shoot guns together (at Dinkum's?). I'm also interested in the everyday police work that might go on in Sommerton - cats in trees, speeding, underage drinking, that kind of thing - and how exasperated Ray might get sometimes over it.

The supporting cast are pretty great - feel free to have Figuerola and Sarah and Dinkum and any of the townspeople in there, or maybe Agent Bannister needs something from them. Maybe they go away to testify at a hearing for Cortez in Las Vegas and they leave Sarah in charge?

Basically, Ray and Frank having a sort of semi-communicative, exasperated, I'm-too-old-for-this(-and-you), I'm-your-boss-we-can't(-but-let's-anyway) relationship but there being something physical and emotional sneaking up between them anyway would be great. And if you go for smut, I'd prefer not glossing over the age difference and the fact that Ray's so much older than Frank!

Ideas: a few days away for Cortez's hearing in Vegas; drinking together (or eating together); war stories; scars; post-movie h/c (or another injury); Frank mistaking something about Ray's behaviour for flirting and it going from there.

The Last Witch Hunter:

--- Requested Ship: Kaulder/Dolan 36th

First off: yes, I really did mean to request Dolan 36th, as played by Michael Caine. I'm a little bit in love with how 36 is physically older but Kaulder is actually older and they've known each other most of 36's life, but that's basically a drop in the ocean as far as Kaulder's concerned. But feel free to set it whenever you like - in the past, after the events of the film...

I really enjoy the magic in this and the weird sort of juxtaposition of the church and magic-users. I like that Kaulder seems to basically know it all (because he's been around so long and seen it all!), and everyone who's anyone knows who he is - something where he's recognised and 36 isn't would be interesting, maybe some sort of identity porn thing?

Obviously there's the slight issue that 36 is a Catholic priest - feel free to go with whatever you like with this, from guilt to shame to some sort of pining, angst...maybe 36 doesn't intend to act on things but then there's some sort of magical macguffin that means they end up doing something they wouldn't have usually...and the aftermath thereof. Maybe 36 has less faith in the church after the film and he finally ends up doing something about what he's been thinking of Kaulder all those years.

Totally up for random plotty shenanigans, Chloe turning up (or not, or indeed any other film characters, or OCs), magical happenings, 36 being de-aged to sometime 20+ and that sparking something though then maybe he realises that Kaulder doesn't care how he looks...or maybe 36 reads lurid stories about Kaulder in the records?

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen:

--- Requested Ship: Allan Quatermain/Tom Sawyer

This film is such silly, silly fun. It doesn't have a great deal in common with the graphic novels (which I've also read, and I'm totally happy for you to bring in aspects of them if you've read them too, but I'd prefer this to be primarily movie-based, please!), and it's got a very odd relationship to history and to the books that the characters are actually from, but I love it anyway.

If you want to make any literary allusions at all, to any of the books that the characters are from or to anything from roughly the same time or roughly the same genre (I mean, we have Dracula and Jekyll & Hyde and Dorian Gray, etc. so gothicish horror or adventury stuff? Frankenstein? Phantom of the Opera? Castle of Otranto? Turn of the Screw? Poe? Byron? Shelley? That sort of thing!), great! No requirement, though, feel free to stick to the movie, which is absolutely what I'm here for. :D

Yes, I know, Allan's 40+ years older than Tom. This is one of the things I love about these two! :D I'm also a little bit in love with the fact that Allan's not only older than Tom but taller and generally more experienced, but Tom's sort of like a younger, cheerier, less world-weary, vastly more American version of him. And I really appreciated the scene where Allan helps Tom with his shooting - I'm absolutely up for more of that, or Allan teaching him anything else you might want to go with.

Things I'd like to see are, in no particular order or preference: post-movie fic where Africa really doesn't let Allan die (does he come back the same, different, wrong? does he remember, or is there a period of amnesia?), the two of them (or indeed them and the team) gallivanting around the world on another job (Africa? America? In the plot of another novel?), Tom managing to teach Allan something (or remind him of something he'd forgotten?), Allan teaching Tom something new, maybe something like them having to pretend to be father and son and it bringing up the realisation that that's really not how they feel about each other...


--- Requested Ship: Alan "Dutch" Schaefer/George Dillon

Predator is one of those films that I could watch over and over and, in fact, I have. A totally ridiculous number of times.

I love the over-the-top machismo of Dutch's team and how well they work together and how competent they are despite the fact they're basically a bunch of absolute, genuine arses. I like the guns and the knives and the running around in the jungle and the feeling of oppressive heat and sweat and panic, I like Dutch setting traps and preparing and being wily, and I sort of enjoy how he's huge but the Predator's still bigger and stronger.

I've requested Dutch/Dillon but feel free to include any of the other characters! I'm most interested in Dutch's relationship with Dillon, of course, but I'm also into the daftness that is Blain, previous missions they've all been on together, consequences of the movie for Dutch, Dutch goes hunting predators, or Dutch and Dillon pre-movie. I'd also find Dutch meeting Royce from Predators and sharing war stories sort of amusing, if you feel inclined in that direction (I'd also read the heck out of Dutch/Royce, but that's another story!).

I have a bit of a thing for sparring/training turning into more, so that would work. As would pre-movie shenanigans, arm-wrestling or some other idiotic competition turns into something substantially stupider, and fix-it is great - Dutch and Dillon getting together in the wake of getting out of the jungle alive, complete with thank-God-we're-alive sex or PTSD and they meet again years later, or another situation that they get sent into, all good. I'm very much into the idea that they know each other well but there's been some sort of betrayal that's more than we see in the movie, whether personal or professional (or both), that they have to get past (and ultimately want to).

Very happy with random action movie crossovers here if you're interested in that - Dutch and Rambo dealing with a similar situation would be sort of hilarious, Dutch teaming up with the Expendables or Matrix from Commando, go wherever the feeling takes you! Similarly happy with pairing Dutch up with just about anyone you like (Blain, Billy, an OMC, a crossover character), as long as the endgame is Dutch/Dillon.

Ideas: ridiculous competitions and oneupmanship; feats of strength; previous missions and working together; downtime; hatesex; patching each other up; scars; another predator lands.

Tango & Cash:

--- Requested Ship: Ray Tango/Gabriel Cash

I love the banter in this one. I love that they're both such good cops though they're from different neighbourhoods and probably very different backgrounds, but they're not that far away from each other in terms of personality when it comes down to it.

It's really the antagonistic, bantering, us-(reluctantly-)against-the-world relationship with bonus grudging respect that I'm here for. Maybe they head off on a follow-up zany adventure after the film or one transfers to the other's precinct and they (reluctantly) have to work together. Maybe they end up unlikely friends-to-lovers, or maybe Kiki makes them both sit down to dinner with her or go see her dance, which could not bode well.

Maybe Kiki goes away as a backing dancer on a pop tour and the two of them end up commiserating over drinks and bad TV. Maybe one of them transfers away and they don't meet again until years later but suddenly there's something there. Maybe an AU where they don't break out to clear their names and have to rebuild their lives once they get out of prison while somehow maintaining their sense of humour. Maybe an AU where they met in the military or, hey, Pacific Rim AU ;)

I like Kiki but I'd prefer she and Cash didn't get together after the film, or at least not on a permanent basis (and definitely no infidelity if that's the case - they'd need to have broken up by the time the guys get together). And if Kiki and Cash do get together and split up, I'd definitely prefer it to be mostly amicable. I'd also prefer that Cash doesn't do much more crossdressing - great as a ploy to get away, but I'd prefer it not turn into a regular thing.

Crossovers: anything actiony, essentially, but I'd be highly entertained if the two of them encountered John McClane!

Ideas: one transfers to the other's precinct; one calls the other up in the middle of the night; a joint investigation; running into each other in a bar; undercover as a couple; competing via arrest records; meeting up again years later.


--- Requested Ship: Barney Ross (The Expendables)/Casey Ryback (Under Siege)

Okay, I admit it: I love the idea of Steven Seagal turning up in an Expendables film. And since I love The Expendables and I love Under Siege, Barney/Casey it is! They've both got such an amusing sense of humour, and they're so good at what they do, and the films are such shooty-stabby-quippy fun. :D

I can't see any reason why Ryback and Barney couldn't've met in service - backstory for that would be great. There's also no reason they couldn't be acquaintances who work together sometimes, once Ryback's out of the Navy, or meet on an op - maybe Ryback got back in with the Navy and didn't spend the rest of his career confined to a galley, goes back to the SEALs, they need the Expendables' help...maybe Strannix didn't die and they need Ryback's help? But don't think I'm tied to there being tons of plot if you're not feeling it. Short is good (they meet, they reminisce, etc.), as is PWP.

Casey's apparently an excellent cook, so feel free to go for him cooking for Barney. Also: sparring! Maybe they're super-competitive! Maybe sharing war stories. Maybe they know things about each other that the others don't. The banter would probably be epic because they're both so sarcastic.

Basically: older guys being super-competent, or the two of them as younger guys... being super-competent!

--- Requested Ship: Captain Flint (Black Sails)/Edward Rochester (Jane Eyre 2006)

I'm thinking of the Rochester from the 2006 Toby Stephens version of Jane Eyre here, because, well, both characters are played by Toby Stephens. Yes, I'm That Fan.

I love these two things and I tend to think the tone would work well together, though I might be the only one! Jane Eyre isn't a happy story all the way through, let's face it, and Black Sails is all grime and salt and blood and cursing and sex and death in a way that makes me very happy. And okay, so they're separated by something like 40-50 years, but I'm sure we can blur the lines a bit! A bit earlier/later and you never know, their paths could have crossed either in London or in the Caribbean, etc. Maybe Rochester ran into Flint instead of Bertha. Maybe his ship was attacked by pirates. Maybe Rochester knew the Hamiltons and was introduced to James McGraw in town, to whom he bears a spooky resemblance.

Maybe they're related - secret brothers, half brothers, cousins, whatever. Angst is fine, as I suspect there'd be angst anyway - Rochester seems to have poor luck in love and Flint is just a ball of grey-moralled, angst-ridden murder. And I do love that they're both Toby Stephens, so whether you go the slightly odd relations route or not (I'm absolutely not tied to it!), I'd very much like them to be very much aware that they look strikingly alike.

--- Requested Ship: Captain Flint (Black Sails)/Frederick Wentworth (Persuasion 2007)

Okay, so we've already established that I'm That Fan with the Flint/Rochester request above; now I'm That Fan Who Ships The Same Actors In Different Roles. But what can I say, if we could transplant Flint to the Napoleonic Wars (or send Wentworth back 50-odd years - handwaving the discrepancy in years or adding a touch of sci-fi both welcome!), I think these two would be really interesting!

I'm not too bothered whether they're both the ages that they are in their respective canons or if one's older, one's younger - maybe Flint is out of the Navy and into piracy by the time he meets Wentworth (in the Caribbean or in London?); Wentworth could have been sent to New Providence while in the Navy, or gone to take on stores there while on his way elsewhere, or maybe he decided to go out there for some random reason after the war ended. Obviously Flint would notice the similarity to Thomas pretty much immediately, which could have an interesting effect!

Or, maybe he meets him as a younger man when they're both still serving. Maybe Lieutenant McGraw serves under Wentworth, or they're both midshipmen or lieutenants under another captain (totally up for that being another crossover character if you like - Jack Aubrey? Norrington from PotC? - I'd prefer they both be 18+ if you go younger, though).

Maybe slightly more AU and McGraw's worked his way up through the ranks and Wentworth is a lieutenant under Captain McGraw, who may or may not have ever met Thomas Hamilton. Maybe Admiral McGraw meets Captain Wentworth. If not, I'd be very interested to see how they might get together considering McGraw's pretty clearly got some issues surrounding his sexuality and Wentworth may still be heartbroken over Anne. Maybe they start out as drinking buddies. Maybe they run into each other somewhere they ought not to have been. Maybe it's a random hookup. Maybe they sail away into the sunset.

Basically: any way you could make this work would be fantastic!

--- Requested Ship: Han Solo (Star Wars)/Mal Reynolds (Firefly)

C'mon, you absolutely can't tell me this wouldn't be fantastic!

They're both just such loveable rogues, who Do The Right Thing when it really comes down to it but they've also done some stuff that's not particularly nice over the years. They're both charming, and play on that charm, but they also know how to handle themselves. They both engage in a little less-than-legal conveyance of goods once in a while. And they both have a real knack for getting themselves and those around them into interesting, varied degrees of trouble.

Totally happy with this being Han from the Original Trilogy, Han from TFA, or from any point in between (including Legends stuff - I've read the majority, so have at it if you want to, but there's zero requirement to do that if you don't!). I'm also happy with a Mal from any point within and without Firefly canon - young Mal during the war, mid-canon Mal, a post-canon Mal who's closer to Han's TFA age...

Also: I'm 100% okay with Han in the Firefly universe or Mal in the Star Wars universe or hey, send them both to Star Trek if you like! Totally down with any random contrivance you can come up with to get them in the same place at the same time, whether it's that one's always been in the other's universe or there's some sort of weird sci-fi happening or whatever, as long as it maintains the sort of interstellar travel theme. Mal would probably make a good Rebel, and Han would probably make a good Firefly-canon smuggler, so go with what you feel like! :D

I'd really like to see them having smugglery shenanigans together! Maybe they're in competition. Maybe they're working together. Maybe they're in competition and then they have to work together! Life-or-death situations ftw.

Also very, very happy with random plot-light scenarios like "Han and Mal meet in a bar" and "Han and Mal are old acquaintances sharing war stories" or "Han and Mal with plotless smut", whatever takes your fancy!

--- Requested Ship: Hannibal Lecter/Will Graham (Hannibal)/Joe Carroll/Ryan Hardy (The Following)

What I requested is the foursome, but if you matched on this and want to write any bits of any of the component ships, please have at it! I think the only one that's not eligible by itself is Hannibal/Will, but there's nothing to say there can't be hints of that in a broader fic, too, if you like.

The Following is like crack, I swear. It makes precious little sense but if you suspend disbelief and take it as a cross between satire and a strange sort of dark comedy, it's absolutely epic. I'm actually a little sad that it's finished now. It's sort of the same thing with Hannibal - I'm gutted that it's gone but wow, it was a wacky ride.

What I like about The Following is that Joe's a total nutcase and Ryan's not that far off himself (maybe he actually gets there at the end of season 3!). Their general dynamic of hurting each other but never actually managing to kill each other is oddly intriguing, the banter's amusing and I love that Joe's essentially a pantomime villain - I half expect "he's behind you!" at any second. It should probably also tell you something that my favourite episode in the whole thing is in season 3 where Ryan lets Joe take him hostage in the prison before his execution.

What I like about Hannibal is basically, well, Hannibal; I enjoyed Hannibal in the books and the movies, but Mads Mikkelsen is absolutely perfect with his pretty wardrobe and the accent and how he looks at people. I love how intelligent he is, and how confident, and how utterly impeccable his taste is. Obviously I also love his relationship with Will, as twisted and weird as it is - how different they are but maybe not so much.

Basically, the darker and kinkier and more problematic in terms of everyone's screwed up desires and relationships the better, here! But if that's not your thing then a case-related teamup would likewise be joyous - doesn't need to be hugely plotty, but character interaction between at least two of these characters, no matter which combination you choose, would be totally my thing. I'm interested in what Will and Hannibal might get up to after the end of the series, or post-show Ryan continuing to hallucinate Joe as he tries to bring down Eliza's organisation, or maybe Joe's miraculously not dead (because let's face it, it wouldn't be the first time). The remark Joe makes about him and Ryan being soulmates is also quite literally the only time a soulmate AU has ever really appealed to me, too, so if that takes your fancy then by all means run with it.

AUs might be interesting if Joe and Hannibal worked in the same college and Ryan and Will were both looking for them, or maybe Ryan and Will know each other from previous cases - there's nothing to say Ryan always worked in New York, after all, so maybe he used to work with Jack (and obviously feel free to AU Will into an agent if that takes your fancy).

What would Hannibal make of Joe? Would Hannibal's interesting brand of therapy work on him? Did they both know Joe's mentor? What would Joe make of Hannibal? How on earth would the two of them converse?

Will and Ryan - I'm not exactly seeing witty repartee but maybe the two of them working together, training together, potentially drinking together and then more after a case... Ryan visits Will's house, Will goes to New York,maybe they knew each other years ago and meet again, maybe they meet for the first time, maybe an AU where they meet up (for the first time, or after a few years) after Joe and Hannibal are both behind bars (maybe both in the same prison/institution?).

But really, a Hannibal/The Following crossover is made for dark, twisted, accent-kinky, overly-intellectual weirdness with murder husbands and expensive tastes.

--- Requested Ship: Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones Series)/Flynn Carsen (The Librarian)

Much like the Indiana Jones series and The Mummy - these two canons with their random supernaturalish artefacts are absolutely made for each other, I swear. And Flynn and Indy would either get on really well or irritate each other horribly, and I think both would be highly amusing. :D

I should probably note that I've not seen anything past season 1 of The Librarians, but I'm fine with this being either Librarian-era or Librarians-era - I'm totally fine with spoilers after S1. But I'd prefer that the main focus is on Indy and Flynn and not the rest of the Librarians cast. And I'd prefer less focus on Indy 4 aliens and more on the action-adventure puzzles and intelligence and artefacts and whatnot, if that's okay.

In terms of the time frame here, I'm totally fine with handwaving one into the other's timeline, with Indy being on the older side and Flynn being younger, or with artefacts-mess-with-time. Main series-aged Indy or Crystal Skull-aged Indy are both totally fine, and I do love Sallah and Henry Jones Sr. and Short Round and Marion and all the bad guys so feel free to bring any of them in if you like!

Soooo...ideas! Indy as Flynn's college professor would be interesting - mentor/mentee absolutely works for me. Or Flynn and Indy on the trail of the same artefact, except Indy thinks it's Normal and Flynn knows it's magic. Maybe they end up working together, or they're rivals with amusing banter and end up having to work together for ~reasons. Maybe Indy was a past librarian! Maybe Indy enters the Library in the 1940s and meets Flynn who's somewhere 2010+. Maybe 1940s Indy ends up in 2010+ with Flynn - how would that work out?

Also totally up for Indy and Flynn walk into a bar, Indy and Flynn meet at a museum, Indy and Flynn work for the same university, Indy and Flynn meet at a conference - banter, flirting, smut, undercover together to get to a goal...all good! :D

--- Requested Ship: Joseph Chandler (Whitechapel)/Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal)

Riiiiight, so, how to explain this one!

I love Hannibal. I really liked Anthony Hopkins Hannibal and Book Hannibal and pretty much every Hannibal, but Mads Mikkelsen is my favourite - something about the accent and the clothes and the fact we know what he's capable of and in the show he's out there doing it instead of locked up the way he is in Silence of the Lambs. The stylised look of the show is also absolutely amazing, it manages to be witty and intelligent and keep my interest even when being self-consciously arty, and I pretty much love this to bits.

I'm also a fan of Whitechapel, obviously! I hadn't really thought much of Rupert Penry-Jones before seeing this, but it totally converted be. I like Joe's OCD and his style and his attention to detail and desire to do things properly (and not end up with every suspect dying!). I also really like the hints of something supernatural to Whitechapel, so that's something I'm absolutely into you exploring if you do happen to match on this!

Absolutely up for Hannibal deciding to go to England instead of the US and ending up as Joe's psychiatrist - maybe he works with the police and Joe's sent to see him. Also totally fine with Joe on some sort of exchange with the FBI, or Hannibal offers to help Joe's team with a case. Maybe they bond over something bookish. Maybe Hannibal decides to make Joe worse, or maybe he decides to help him.

100% happy for this to go in supernatural directions or for there to be a more Hannibal slant to it with serial murders and dinner parties and whatnot. Joe wouldn't necessarily be out of place with guests at Hannibal's table, though I like to think Hannibal would quite like him (or would at least quite like playing with him).

Other things...maybe they meet at a conference? Maybe they meet at a tailor's? Maybe a concert and Joe piques Hannibal's interest. I'd be interested in PWP here if you can explain how Joe would end up in bed with someone so quickly - that would be an interesting challenge on Hannibal's part, maybe. ;) Maybe someone sets them up on a blind date. Maybe they meet at a crime scene or Hannibal's working as a surgeon. Absolutely up to you, I'd enjoy anything here, from moderately happy to dark to darker! :D

--- Requested Ship: Logan (X-Men Movies)/Richard B. Riddick (Chronicles of Riddick)

Essentially, feel free to disregard whatever you like of X-Men canon here: what I'm interested in is Logan himself. I'm seeing this as a Logan-lives-a-long-time request (maybe the other mutants died out and it's now just him? whatever you like with Logan canon or not!), or have him sucked randomly into the future (hey, that kind of thing happens in X-Men!), or whatever contrivance you want to use to get them into the same place at the same time.

I'd mostly like the two of them as initially antagonistic with Logan being his grumpy, surly, taciturn self and Riddick being a smartass, though maybe they end up working together in some way and getting less likely to want to kill each other. I'm absolutely here for them getting stranded together, imprisoned in some kind of pseudo-inescapable interstellar prison (and potentially forced to do stuff, like fighting for their lives or something, or breaking out) together, sucked into a weird forced fighting thing together, stranded and killing aliens together... Maybe they meet prior to Pitch Black when Riddick's doing military stuff. Maybe they meet way after. Maybe X-Men in Space!

I'd prefer the two of them in the Riddick timeline together but if you can make Riddick work in the X-Men original timeline, absolutely go for it! :D

--- Requested Ship: Rick O'Connell (The Mummy Series)/Indiana Jones (Indiana Jones Series)

I love the Mummy and Indiana Jones films with a glorious passion, and the only thing that could possibly make them better is a crossover! One thing, though: Evy is definitely Rachel Weisz for me, though feel free to have the events of Tomb of the Dragon Emperor have taken place with her in them.

Rick and Indy are roughly contemporaries and I kind of like the idea of their fathers having known each other (we don't know much about Rick's dad, so maybe he was some sort of historian? maybe he worked with Indy's dad?), or them having gone to school together, and then their lives diverging (though they're oddly not all that dissimilar when it comes to their strangely supernatural adventures!). Maybe Indy was medjai in a past life. Maybe they've know each other dozens of times.

If you're not into the idea of them having known each other pre-movies, how about they meet while on some kind of adventure? Egypt is a good location for it but maybe South America or somewhere like Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, could also be interesting. Then again, go with what you like so if you've got any ideas about Viking treasure hoards or religious artefacts or rare books or whatnot, go for it!

If you're up for plot, maybe Rick being along for the ride in one of the Indiana Jones films, or Indy showing up in The Mummy? Maybe they meet in the British Museum or they know each other by reputation, or meet through Evy and/or Marion. Nazi-fighting is an obvious one where Indy's concerned. Or maybe they meet in a bar somewhere completely random and they hit it off, realise they're both after the same artefact, or end up in bed (or hey, archaeological sex pollen works).

Absolutely down with PWP if the fancy strikes. And feel free to set it whenever you like - maybe they're younger, maybe they're older. Also feel free to do whatever you like with Rick and Indy's relationships with Evy and Marion - handwave them away, amicable splits, never-together AU, cheating-and-feel-awful, open relationships...whatever you like.

Rick wearing Indy's hat would be amusing, the two of them being mistaken for each other, being trapped together, a competition, Indy teaching Rick to use his whip...


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